What Is A Switch?

If you're brand new to BDSM in either life, you may think it's clear cut and binary: Dominant and submissive. But as with so much in the world, nothing is as simple as it seems. You can have a Dominant bottom (affectionately known as a "Power Bottom") a submissive top, which is usually most male submissives to a female Dominant.. and many other potential combinations. There is also those who blur the lines of the established roles in BDSM who are typically known as Switches.

According to Kinkly.com: "A switch is a person involved in BDSM play who may play either a Dominant or submissive, rather than committing to a single role. A switch can lead a submissive partner through a BDSM scene or take a more submissive role and receive pleasure, pain or both from a Dominant partner."

While a switch can be an amazing partner in the BDSM community for many reasons, which we'll cover in a later article, they often receive a good deal of negative stereotyping from those who are more rigidly Dominant or submissive. For instance, one statement that many people use against switches is that they need to "make up their mind." The illusion in that statement, is that the switch has not made their mind up, which is the furthest from the truth. Another issue that comes up often for switches is Dominants that fear the switch will try to Dominate them without prior negotiation. It's largely a fear of the unknown, but I also believe that every relationship whether vanilla or BDSM should be founded on strong and open communication. Lastly, from the submissive perspective, an issue I've experienced personally as a Dominant leaning switch is that many submissives don't feel they can respect their Dom/me if they know they're off submitting elsewhere. This is why consideration periods are very needed parts of the process in my eyes, so that if issues like those arise, they can be talked over and if at worst, open up the dynamic to the idea of dissolution of their relationship if no compromise can be met.

For all the above, one might wonder why someone would become a switch. Many switches are fulfilled in both roles equally, even if they don't spend time in both roles to the same capacity. For instance, I mentioned above that I am a "Dominant-leaning switch," I also know there are "submissive-leaning switches" and more "pure" switches that don't care what role they're in so long as they're getting their kink on. While switches have to handle a lot more negotiation and communication than most might on average due to often needing both sides of their BDSM expression fulfilled, they often come with years of community/lifestyle experience to adequately navigate those added requirements.

In later articles, I will go in depth as to why a switch may be a great partner for you, but also highlight the delicate dance that most switches have to do when navigating their 'dual' existence in many BDSM spaces.

Until next time!